next »

[Arf]

Once again another holiday has come upon us.  I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas.

May all your dreams come true.

Arf

[x-ta-c]

That was cute, Arfy. Heartwarming, in fact.

In all seriousness, Bah; humbug. Every idiot who goes about with Merry Christmas on his lips should be boiled with his own pudding and buried with a stake of holly through his heart.


It was late at night on Christmas eve
I was dreaming of the soft white snow
I was awoken by a noise near the Christmas tree
What it was I did not know

It was Santa Clause he was bringing me some gifts
Unfortunately I did not know that
So I quietly snuck up behind him
And I shot him five times in the back

It went Pow pow pow pow pow
He said "what the fork ow ow ow"
Then I shot him three more times in the head
Pieces of his brain flew out and he was dead

That's when I noticed his blood-soaked beard
And his red suit filled with bullet holes
I said "oh my god I killed santa clause
I'm not going to jail for this asshole"

So I went to my shed and I got my saw
And I started to choppipty chop chop
I started with his arms then his legs then his head
And then the torso was a really long job

And the blood went spurt spurt spurt
It was really hard work work work
It was hard cutting through his spine
I must have vomited sixteen times

I burnt all the pieces in my fireplace
The smell of burning human flesh filled my nose
Eleven hours later there was nothing left
And that's when I heard my telephone

It was Auntie Jean looking for Uncle Bob
She said "He left the house dressed as Santa Clause
But he didn't come home last night
Have you seen him; god I hope he's alright"


Kidding ofc, Happy holidays to everyone! Hopefully everyone gets a new cpu, and a beta key for T:A? =D

[B2]

Thanks, Arf. Happy Holidays to everyone..

You buncha lucky turds, where I live we only cook a meal no Tree or no presents .

[Vorter_X_]

My "gifts" are limited to a sweater and socks usually...I don't ask for anything unless I need it...I always earned my stuff and my parents were stoners who didn't know how to pay their bills till after I was a teenager...I spend my holiday with family while we give the children gifts and we adults eat and drink and get stoned ahahaha...I always eat more than everyone in my family, but I'm the tallest and more than likely the most in shape of the whole crew >.> fackin fat butt'd Americans...

[B2]

Haha.

[x-ta-c]

Too old to receive presents anymore. I just cook for friends and family, and we get stoned and drunk together. That's what christmas is all about. Spending time with the loved ones, and enjoying that time as much as possible. <insert inane rant about how xmas is now a consumer holiday>. I did get a slammin pair of pj's tho. Ninjamas, with ninja footies. Custom sewn =D. That's right. You wish you had them.