Author Topic: Jokes Thread  (Read 3113 times)

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12Stones

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Jokes Thread
« on: September 3, 2004 08:17 pm CDT »
I came across some pretty funny jokes, and thought this could be a good idea.  Let's avoid the racial jokes too.  lol/rofl/lmao posts are fine, but it would be good if you had a joke to share with us as well.

Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by
cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could
live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go
to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So
all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten
apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to
shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your
face or you'll be eaten."

The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out
in pain, so he was killed.

The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the
king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this
should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the
ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one
asked, "Why did you laugh? You almost got away with it!" The
second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy
coming with pineapples."
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969 06:00 pm CST by 12Stones »

Quote from: "Aphex"
mmm so many different types of music, so little time.

|\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ASCII FAN\\\|]

JayJay

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« Reply #1 on: September 3, 2004 10:44 pm CDT »
Your mom is so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.  kthxbi<3
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969 06:00 pm CST by JayJay »

GE

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« Reply #2 on: September 4, 2004 02:05 am CDT »
Why did the blonde jump off a cliff      She thought her maxi pad had wings...... HAR HAR
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969 06:00 pm CST by GE »
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WolfTones

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« Reply #3 on: September 4, 2004 06:23 am CDT »
Confession
When nuns are admitted to Heaven they go through a special gate and are expected to make one last confession before they become angels.

Several nuns are lined up at this gate waiting to be absolved of their last sins before they are made holy.

"And so," says St. Peter, "have you ever had any contact with a penis?"

"Well," says the first nun in line, "I did once just touch the tip of one with the tip of my finger."

"OK," says St. Peter, "dip your finger in the holy water and pass on into heaven."

The next nun admits, "Well, yes, I did once get carried away and I, you know, sort of massaged one a bit."

"OK," says St. Peter, "rinse your hand in the holy water and pass on into heaven."

Suddenly there is some jostling in the line and one of the nuns is trying to cut in front.

"Well now, what's going on here?" says St. Peter.

"Well, your excellency," says the nun who is trying to improve her position in line, "If I'm going to have to gargle that stuff, I want to do it before Sister Mary Thomas sticks her ass in it."
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969 06:00 pm CST by WolfTones »
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nesso

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« Reply #4 on: September 4, 2004 06:28 am CDT »
okay, reading jokes are stupid i don't find them funny at all... the only funny joke's i find funny are people's actions
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969 06:00 pm CST by nesso »

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Sl_I/\/\s|-|Ady

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« Reply #5 on: September 4, 2004 10:55 am CDT »
What is the difference between a fag and a refrigerator?






























A refridgerator doesn't turn your meat brown.   LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!1
« Last Edit: September 6, 2004 01:59 pm CDT by Sl_I/\/\s|-|Ady »

KoRo

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« Reply #6 on: September 4, 2004 02:21 pm CDT »
How do u kill a one armed blonde hanging from a tree?




Wave to her.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969 06:00 pm CST by KoRo »

Kendril

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« Reply #7 on: September 4, 2004 02:35 pm CDT »
Celtic your joke was funny as hell--I liked that one a lot! :lol:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969 06:00 pm CST by Kendril »

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Sl_I/\/\s|-|Ady

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« Reply #8 on: September 4, 2004 02:50 pm CDT »
These stories are funny.....and real I might add.

http://atlanta.creativeloafing.com/2003 ... otter.html
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969 06:00 pm CST by Sl_I/\/\s|-|Ady »

12Stones

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« Reply #9 on: September 4, 2004 03:48 pm CDT »
These aren't jokes, but they are crazy gif videos.








































































« Last Edit: December 31, 1969 06:00 pm CST by 12Stones »

Quote from: "Aphex"
mmm so many different types of music, so little time.

|\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ASCII FAN\\\|]

BlAcK-IcE

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« Reply #10 on: September 5, 2004 03:44 am CDT »
Heh, I had one of those football things in my sig.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969 06:00 pm CST by BlAcK-IcE »

KoRo

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« Reply #11 on: September 5, 2004 06:11 am CDT »
im diggin the BF42 (I think) carowned. That's nice. But the racecar one is sick. That guy flew so fast it looked fake...
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969 06:00 pm CST by KoRo »