Particle's Custom RPG

General => Common Topic Symposium => Topic started by: Tony on March 5, 2007 12:31 am CST

Title: My wife or gamer's anonymous
Post by: Tony on March 5, 2007 12:31 am CST: Had a little of a argument with my wife earlier over me spending too much time in the game. I work nights so I'm home by 2:30am EST at the latest, I have the mornings until 5pm EST when I go in and I drop the baby off at the sitter's around 11am-12pm EST. So what am I doing until 5pm? You guess it in the server leveling but what am I doing when my wife wants to snuggle up? Trying to play the game, she says I choose the computer over her and that the game gets more attention than her lately. She says I have to choose, she continues to say I have a addiction and that I should give it all up.

I'm the type that it's all or nothing, I don't want just a piece of time to play the game I want to play it when I want, I don't want just half of the burger I want my own, that's me. What do you think, does she have a point, am I spending too much time on the PC and not enough with her? Or is she just being over emotional? Should I give up gaming considering my huge addiction, I even choose it over sex which I don't find to be a big deal but tell me your thoughts.

Should I go cold turkey and give it up, manage my time (which would be very difficult, think of a pot head going cold turkey) or should I just keep on gaming when I want to and love on her when I get done?

[markCraeo]
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Post by: villman420 on March 5, 2007 05:46 am CST: well it is your wife and you are playing an 8 year old game. i def would not give up sex for this old of a game. how long do you play the game?
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Post by: KoRo on March 5, 2007 06:14 am CST: Dude go for the wife. You've invested WAY more time in getting her and being with her. Like villman said don't let an 8 year old game get in between you two.

Love > Everything
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Post by: Tony on March 5, 2007 07:22 am CST: I play anytime I'm not doing anything else, a rough 6 hours a day maybe, but it's not just the video game, it's the computer period, while leveling I'm off surfing the web, learning to program or learning to use a piece of software or whatever the case may be. I rather be doing something on the computer than trying to snuggle.

[markCraeo]
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Post by: Particle on March 5, 2007 08:26 am CST: Just play when she isn't being an attention nazi. There are things in life that are more important than this game. I think a healthy marriage is one of them. That doesn't mean you can't enjoy the game when you've got some free time, however. We'll always be here.
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Post by: Tony on March 5, 2007 09:13 am CST: Debating whether or not I made the right decision to get married or not, I was doing just find being a computer geek but then I gave into the pressures of my peers and started to explore the dating world and ended up getting married. Kind of ironic, just fours years ago I was talking with you all about me not liking sex and never getting married and here I am breaking my own set of rules, what was I thinking.

Oh well, guess I will have to cut my computing time in half, but I can't stand to see my peers surpass me, not in school, not in life and not in the game. When I started again there were a few players who were not that far ahead of me in remorts and a couple that started at the same level as me. Astal is starting to become at least 7 remorts ahead of my own, he was remort 4 when I started, surpassed Volcostn3 or what ever his name is. I don't know, maybe he's just a screwed up mental complex with me, I should properly seek professional help but I can pretty much psychoanalyze myself I just can't seem to fix the problem.

[markCraeo]
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Post by: Vorter_X_ on March 5, 2007 10:05 am CST: How many hours to do your first remort here? First day eViL and I remorted after the clear. Under 24 hours from NOTHING no help.
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Post by: Xenos on March 5, 2007 11:19 am CST: When you get to the point where you can afk level you can have the sex and the levels. Until then you have to choose.
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Post by: plasma on March 5, 2007 11:41 am CST: Hmmm lemme smoke a bowl or two then I'll tell you the real solution.
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Post by: Tony on March 5, 2007 11:58 am CST: Quote from: "Vorter_X_"
How many hours to do your first remort here? First day eViL and I remorted after the clear. Under 24 hours from NOTHING no help.

Well if I can just sit there and play I can properly remort in 10 hours or so but that's with everything in the equation, other players in the zone and having to party, no where to level because too many people are in the zone, afking and being killed and not knowing for the next 4 - 6 hours, then real life calling for work and school. In all I can get one remort everyday which has been my goal and lately it has been a day-in-half to remort because my wife wants me to come to bed at night. I'm only remort level 17 right now.

[markCraeo]
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Post by: Sako on March 5, 2007 12:00 pm CST: Quote from: "plasma"
Hmmm lemme smoke a bowl or two then I'll tell you the real solution.

lemme write that I will read and laugh of your phrase before I post my comment about it
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Post by: plasma on March 5, 2007 12:04 pm CST: Quote from: "Sako"
Quote from: "plasma"
Hmmm lemme smoke a bowl or two then I'll tell you the real solution.

lemme write that I will read and laugh of your phrase before I post my comment about it

60 percent of the time, it works every time.
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Post by: Particle on March 5, 2007 02:45 pm CST: (http://http://lads.myspace.com/06_08/MS-60830-55-SNOR-AS-US/SexPanther_1_600.jpg)
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Post by: plasma on March 5, 2007 02:46 pm CST: 100 percent of the time, i'd do her everytime.
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Post by: Particle on March 5, 2007 02:48 pm CST: It's just too bad that site plastered their logos on it. It isn't a shirt they made up. The design (and photo) are from another site which I can't remember.
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Post by: HUBBA on March 5, 2007 06:39 pm CST: Here is a good solution. Buy your wife a computer and get her interested in Tribes. Problem solved. You both play the in the server together.
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Post by: sin on March 5, 2007 07:34 pm CST: I had this problem a few years ago with my wife. We were young and she was very needy. What we finally did was write up a schedule for computer usage and it worked pretty good. Unfortunately we divorced later and now my new wife lets me play all the time cause she loves to do the same things as me.

The moral is: If you too dont have things in common, then you might want to look more closely at the relationship and consider that you might not be meant for each other. My new wife and I are perfect together. Hell, she even plays tribes.

Also, this needy personality that your wife has probably stems from some deficient childhood parenting and she needs to sort that out.
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Post by: RedneckNoob on March 5, 2007 08:14 pm CST: The neediness probably comes from getting large amounts of attention as a young child. When you get large amounts of attention it is written to your subconcious that you are supposed to have attention.

But yea, the games. Dude, six hours a day, when you actually have a life (unlike me, so I'm kinda being hypocritical) is way more than is necessary. I understand your want to excel and dominate because I feel the urges constantly. I once played a game for 43 hours straight (I was timing it) because I was trying to master a certain portion of it. All you have to do is realize when to pull yourself away. A thing I discovered that helps so that you can pull yourself away is to start getting up and out of your chair every time you have learned something new or done something new. Like, every time you know that you level, go and grab a drink. When I do this I start to realize the passage of time better and that there are other things going on. It helps, even with my extremely addictive personality.
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Post by: Particle on March 5, 2007 10:18 pm CST: And here I've been wishing that I could get addicted to a game like everyone else does for years. It just hasn't happened since childhood. Something changed, but I still can't place it.

I used to play about 30 hours of QuakeWorld per week (we only had 40 hours total per week of access or it would be more) back in 96 and 97. I just don't find myself doing that anymore...and I miss it.
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Post by: JayJay on March 5, 2007 10:24 pm CST: Stop playing games. You'll have LOTS more free time. You can still surf the web, and do coding and what not, but stop gaming. I haven't played Tribes in over a year and a half, and Quake 4 for a year. I have lots more freetime. One thing gaming did for me tho is keep me away from alcohol, but meh, its okay, its still fun.
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Post by: plasma on March 6, 2007 01:44 am CST: Can you post pics of your wife just in case you choose Tribes over her...
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Post by: Celtic16 on March 6, 2007 03:59 am CST: i got married in december, I haven't played from then.

In my opinion Wife>Trpg

On the other hand, why should you quit doing something you like because you're married....It'll take a while to get used to things ...how long have you been married?
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Post by: Tony on March 6, 2007 08:43 am CST: With my son's mother (girlfriend before my wife) I went through the samething with me being more into the computer than her, eventually we worked out a time schedule which didn't work with her and since she broke the agreement I went back to being on it when I wanted. I believe the time schedule might work with her, I can be on the game when she's at work and for a couple of hours when I get home from work OR until she wakes up which could be seconds once I sit down in the chair then she wants me to come to bed , but I feel that's not enough time for me.

I do care for my wife and nothing comes above her but I care more about MY time than the WE time and that's properly where I mess up but if she wants to do anything or wants me to do anything I almost always gives in to the demand. I'm a gamer, I'm a computer geek and I have a addiction all of which are healthy for my future considering this is going to be my career field. I just don't want to give up the time.

We are meant to be with each other, we get along so perfectly and we both use logic to resolve most problems but on this one I refuse to give up what's important to me and don't get me wrong she's important too but I had some important things before I met her that I don't want to give up.

Can't post a picture of my wife, she would have a fit, she wants to read this thread once a solution has been found for my little issue. Glad we are making progress.

[markCraeo]
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Post by: Kyrie on March 6, 2007 01:58 pm CST: Quote from: "Craeo"
I'm a gamer, I'm a computer geek and I have a addiction all of which are healthy for my future considering this is going to be my career field.

Professional Tribes Player?
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Post by: IceCube on March 6, 2007 02:45 pm CST: just quit cause im going to kill you for making so many long posts and because there is going to be a CLEAR
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Post by: Vorter_X_ on March 6, 2007 02:52 pm CST: Don't say that type of thing. Rumors are always floating about clears. But have you seen one in the last what 1300 days?
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Post by: RedneckNoob on March 6, 2007 03:18 pm CST: Quote from: "JayJay"
Stop playing games.

You are evil incarnate. You speak blasphemey. Heretic! Heretic!
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Post by: Sako on March 6, 2007 04:55 pm CST: my opinion is : If a machine ( computer ) is more important than your wife ( living person ) you definately have a problem. It's the same problem than gambling and things like that.
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Post by: Artorius on March 6, 2007 05:28 pm CST: Quote from: "Sako"
my opinion is : If a machine ( computer ) is more important than your wife ( living person ) you definately have a problem. It's the same problem than gambling and things like that.

I should think it depends on the wife. =/

I didn't realize we had so many psychatrists on the forum.

How much time can TRPG possibly take? I mean.. you should be scripting 99% of the time.
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Post by: Particle on March 6, 2007 05:45 pm CST: Nothing against your wife--I'm sure she's a wonderful person, but (and you knew a "but" was coming, didn't you?) I think you had a good strategy worked out before-hand. It's worked for me so far. I don't think I'd be able to make somebody else happy unless they liked computers enough to be able to appreciate my own like of technology.
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Post by: RedneckNoob on March 6, 2007 05:54 pm CST: Quote from: "Artorius"
I didn't realize we had so many psychatrists on the forum.

Actually I've been studying how to psychoanalyze people. I've been reading the books in my spare time.
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Post by: Particle on March 6, 2007 06:12 pm CST: Just don't let it leave your mind that psychology in general isn't an exact or precise science. So many psych majors who thought they knew everything about human behavior...ugh. Those were annoying times.
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Post by: RedneckNoob on March 7, 2007 08:41 pm CST: I know that I know far from all about human behavior. I want to unravel it though. I want to understand the affects specific hormones have on specific psychological functions of the brain and find ways to predict what people will do.
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Post by: KoRo on March 7, 2007 09:15 pm CST: Down to the point where you can basically mathematically predict what sort of response a person would have in a specific situation? I have a feeling that that's...uhm...kinda impossible =\
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Post by: LOL Internet on March 8, 2007 11:37 am CST: Your wife is probably really fat, and that is why you choose an 8 year old game over her. Damn, she must be disgusting.

Tell her to lose some weight.
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Post by: Tony on March 8, 2007 12:25 pm CST: My wife isn't fat, I love her and when it comes down to it I wouldn't choose a game over her, I have cleared up the problem and we have agreed that I will play at night few hours after I get off at which point I would come to bed so I can get up with the baby in the morning.

I also will play anytime she is not present at my own will and when present some affection shall be showed and the game will be put on wait but she is not to dominant the "WE" time and instead we will branch off to do our own individual activities.

She's rather good looking if you must know and her personally... amazing. Wish you could meet her.
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Post by: RedneckNoob on March 8, 2007 07:04 pm CST: Quote from: "KoRo"
Down to the point where you can basically mathematically predict what sort of response a person would have in a specific situation? I have a feeling that that's...uhm...kinda impossible =\

No, not mathematically. I can kinda limit the number of possible responces someone will have when they are encountered with a certain situation though, based on who they are, their personality, their age, their beliefs, and their upbringing. It's the same way that you get to know your friends and are able to guess at what they would do in a certain situation. I just want to be more generalized about it. Not to mention the fact that my own mental illness has driven my attention towards the human psyche.
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Post by: Particle on March 9, 2007 12:18 am CST: It doesn't really sound like intelligent prediction so much at that point as just remembering what somebody always does in that situation. (difference between thinking and remembering)
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Post by: slorge_gridlock on March 9, 2007 01:14 pm CST: I use computers all day at work.
I use computers at home for fun, too, as much as I want.
Sometimes my wife complains that I'm always on the computer.
I turn on Jerry Springer or the news or something featuring a bunch of cheating, drinking, stoner, abusive husbands and boyfriends.
She gets the point.
When she needs something, all she has to do is ask and I jump to do or get whatever she wants.
I am a man.
She does not DEMAND that I do these things, nor do I seek her permission to do things I want.
I choose to do these things, both.
I love her deeply and she knows it.
You gotta give more than you take, but don't be a pushover.
There's a line you have to find and adjust all the time.

From a 42 year old husband and father of two....gotta give the kids time, too....in a minute...just one more level.....
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Post by: Vorter_X_ on March 9, 2007 01:37 pm CST: Hahahaha I love that Slorge. I used to do that to my mom...One minute...Just....one....more....level....Then I'd mow the lawn, clean the catbox, ferretbox, dishes, vacuum, w\e. It's the same way in a relationship. It's why mother's make their sons do work, to train them for relationships.
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Post by: Tony on March 9, 2007 02:07 pm CST: I believe I do give more than I recieve, anytime she wants a foot massage, I'm on it, lotion and all. I take of ALL our financial work, bills, savings, account balance, check ordering, IRAs, money transfer and a couple more things I can't mention but you get the picture. I take care of the baby, 4:30am the baby needs something I'm in the car already on my way to the grocery store. I keep the house clean, might as well say I'm the househusband in the relationship.

She would trade that all in for more affection than I'm giving her, with me having all this on my shoulder's I want "MY" time and I want it in huge bulks not just three hours, I want nine hours undisturbed but that's too much to ask for. Quote "That's time you could be spending with us" she says.

She says I should of stayed single if I am that much of a computer geek. Maybe I should of, maybe I should. Pondering....
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Post by: slorge_gridlock on March 9, 2007 02:45 pm CST: you don't have bulk "MY" time anymore. your a husband and a father. Man up. A big part of that life is sacrifice.

On the other hand, it sounds like you're doing a bunch already and have stuck with it. Did she know about your computer fixation when she married you. You might ask her if she married "you", or if she married someone she wanted to mold into her perfect husband.

Or you can do what I do...

1. say you're sorry
2. take care of matters for a while
3. slip back into your old ways
4. repeat.

ha ha
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Post by: Kyrie on March 9, 2007 03:08 pm CST: Women marry men expecting they'll change. Men marry women expecting they won't.
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Post by: Tony on March 9, 2007 03:13 pm CST: I'm very stubborn in my ways, my computer addiction is something I'm not willing to break. I did inform of everything that was wrong with me before we even started to seriously date and I made it a point to drill into her about the computer addiction, she proceeded to say she could handle. When we discuss it now she's say she didn't know it was that bad. I did inform her but I guess I got to suck it in anyway, but then I'll get behind in level and then where will I be?
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Post by: Kyrie on March 9, 2007 03:15 pm CST: As long as you aren't losing levels, you can't be 'behind.'
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Post by: slorge_gridlock on March 9, 2007 06:27 pm CST: Quote from: "Kyrie"
As long as you aren't losing levels, you can't be 'behind.'

Yeah, see all I do when I log on is kill n00bs. I'm losing levels like crazy.
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Post by: RedneckNoob on March 9, 2007 06:46 pm CST: Quote from: "slorge_gridlock"
Quote from: "Kyrie"
As long as you aren't losing levels, you can't be 'behind.'

Yeah, see all I do when I log on is kill n00bs. I'm losing levels like crazy.

In Soviet Russia, noobs kill you.
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Post by: Artorius on March 12, 2007 11:44 pm CDT: Quote from: "RedneckNoob"
Quote from: "Artorius"
I didn't realize we had so many psychatrists on the forum.

Actually I've been studying how to psychoanalyze people. I've been reading the books in my spare time.

Gosh, I had no idea it was so easy to become a psychiatrist, are you also working on a medical degree?
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Post by: -X- Aaragorn on March 12, 2007 11:56 pm CDT: Quote from: "slorge_gridlock"
I use computers all day at work.
I use computers at home for fun, too, as much as I want.
Sometimes my wife complains that I'm always on the computer.
I turn on Jerry Springer or the news or something featuring a bunch of cheating, drinking, stoner, abusive husbands and boyfriends.
She gets the point.
When she needs something, all she has to do is ask and I jump to do or get whatever she wants.
I am a man.
She does not DEMAND that I do these things, nor do I seek her permission to do things I want.
I choose to do these things, both.
I love her deeply and she knows it.
You gotta give more than you take, but don't be a pushover.
There's a line you have to find and adjust all the time.

From a 42 year old husband and father of two....gotta give the kids time, too....in a minute...just one more level.....

Couldn't have said it better - its the way of the man's man and good to know that I am on track at age 31
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Post by: RedneckNoob on March 13, 2007 09:19 pm CDT: Quote from: "Artorius"
Quote from: "RedneckNoob"
Quote from: "Artorius"
I didn't realize we had so many psychatrists on the forum.

Actually I've been studying how to psychoanalyze people. I've been reading the books in my spare time.

Gosh, I had no idea it was so easy to become a psychiatrist, are you also working on a medical degree?

Yes, once I get my B.S. (hehe, bs) in Psychology, I'm going to get a Psy.D in Clinical Psychology. I'm just stuck choosing between Baylor and Texas Tech. Baylor is obviously the better school, but Texas Tech is right in the same city as my family.
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Post by: Lidge Farkley on March 16, 2007 06:36 am CDT: Quote from: "RedneckNoob"
Yes, once I get my B.S. (hehe, bs) in Psychology, I'm going to get a Psy.D in Clinical Psychology. :o I'm just stuck choosing between Baylor and Texas Tech. Baylor is obviously the better school, but Texas Tech is right in the same city as my family.

Baylor. Go to Baylor.
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Post by: HUBBA on March 16, 2007 07:11 pm CDT: Quote from: "Lidge Farkley"
Quote from: "RedneckNoob"
Yes, once I get my B.S. (hehe, bs) in Psychology, I'm going to get a Psy.D in Clinical Psychology. I'm just stuck choosing between Baylor and Texas Tech. Baylor is obviously the better school, but Texas Tech is right in the same city as my family.

Baylor. Go to Baylor.

Have to agree. Go to Baylor get out of the house and be on your own!!!
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Post by: RedneckNoob on March 16, 2007 07:18 pm CDT: Quote from: "HUBBA"
Quote from: "Lidge Farkley"
Quote from: "RedneckNoob"
Yes, once I get my B.S. (hehe, bs) in Psychology, I'm going to get a Psy.D in Clinical Psychology. I'm just stuck choosing between Baylor and Texas Tech. Baylor is obviously the better school, but Texas Tech is right in the same city as my family.

Baylor. Go to Baylor.

Have to agree. Go to Baylor get out of the house and be on your own!!!

It's just that I still want at least three-four hours a day, without losing sleep, that I can game or just sit there and vegitate. If I go out on my own, I'll have to work a full-time job to pay for all of my stuff. My family can't spare any money for college, so I'll have to rely completely and utterly on scholarships, grants, and student loans. So I was just thinking of ease of living while I do it. Don't want to get too stressed during that time. I'm not even worried about the school work, I've looked at the required classes and I know they'll be simple. The hardest one would probably be Advanced Statistics. It's just that I won't have much free time to do w/e I want. Right now I'm leaning more towards Baylor, but I might have to go to Tech.
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Post by: 12Stones on March 23, 2007 12:48 am CDT: Whatever dude.. I passed up head from my girlfriend tonight to play in a tribes match. Iv'e been with her for a year and a half though, and marriage is more serious than just dating..

You'd be lucky to find a girl that won't mind the computer sucking up a lot of your time, so I'd say try and make it work with her first. Just think about how you'd feel if you lost her and all you did was play tribes.. you know it would suck and you'd feel malarkeyty not having her to be with.
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Post by: Celtic16 on March 23, 2007 10:31 am CDT: wow you two truley are to losers. One doesn't want head because he wants to play a malarkeyty game and the other is going to put a malarkeyty game before his schooling..... Think about that for a second!
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Post by: RedneckNoob on March 25, 2007 02:43 am CDT: Quote from: "Celtic16"
wow you two truley are to losers. One doesn't want head because he wants to play a malarkeyty game and the other is going to put a malarkeyty game before his schooling..... Think about that for a second!

Did you even have schooling to begin with?
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Post by: 12Stones on March 28, 2007 09:12 pm CDT: Quote from: "Celtic16"
wow you two truley are to losers. One doesn't want head because he wants to play a malarkeyty game and the other is going to put a malarkeyty game before his schooling..... Think about that for a second!

Yeah, but you forget one thing.. Iv'e gotten head twice in my life for every stupid post you've made. Thanks.
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Post by: RedneckNoob on March 29, 2007 12:50 am CDT: Quote from: "12Stones"
Quote from: "Celtic16"
wow you two truley are to losers. One doesn't want head because he wants to play a malarkeyty game and the other is going to put a malarkeyty game before his schooling..... Think about that for a second!

Yeah, but you forget one thing.. Iv'e gotten head twice in my life for every stupid post you've made. Thanks.

That's more than 141*2 considering his old WhoCouldIBe account.
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Post by: Xenos on March 29, 2007 09:46 pm CDT: Quote from: "RedneckNoob"
Quote from: "Celtic16"
wow you two truley are to losers. One doesn't want head because he wants to play a malarkeyty game and the other is going to put a malarkeyty game before his schooling..... Think about that for a second!

Did you even have schooling to begin with?

(http://http://img256.imageshack.us/img256/2971/lol20catrz8.jpg)
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Post by: Artorius on March 30, 2007 06:15 am CDT: Quote from: "12Stones"
Whatever dude.. I passed up head from my girlfriend tonight to play in a tribes match. Iv'e been with her for a year and a half though, and marriage is more serious than just dating..

You should have requested head while playing tribes. ^^
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Post by: Celtic16 on March 30, 2007 11:23 am CDT: Quote from: "12Stones"
Quote from: "Celtic16"
wow you two truley are to losers. One doesn't want head because he wants to play a malarkeyty game and the other is going to put a malarkeyty game before his schooling..... Think about that for a second!

Yeah, but you forget one thing.. Iv'e gotten head twice in my life for every stupid post you've made. Thanks.

head from guys, i'd say, no we're talkin the other head, were a woman is involved
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Post by: RedneckNoob on March 30, 2007 06:25 pm CDT: Quote from: "Celtic16"
Quote from: "12Stones"
Quote from: "Celtic16"
wow you two truley are to losers. One doesn't want head because he wants to play a malarkeyty game and the other is going to put a malarkeyty game before his schooling..... Think about that for a second!

Yeah, but you forget one thing.. Iv'e gotten head twice in my life for every stupid post you've made. Thanks.

head from guys, i'd say, no we're talkin the other head, were a woman is involved

He's talking about himself, not you.
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Post by: Celtic16 on March 31, 2007 05:56 pm CDT: Quote from: "RedneckNoob"
He's talking about himself, not you.

your mama!.....?