Author Topic: Funny Court Stuffs >3  (Read 2534 times)

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Razore

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Funny Court Stuffs >3
« on: July 14, 2004 07:26 pm CDT »
Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.



Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.



Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.



Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?



Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.



Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that
morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.



Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.



Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't
know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?



Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?



Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?



Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?



Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?



Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?



Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?



Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I
sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.



Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.



Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.



Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.



Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?



Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the
autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
somewhere.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969 06:00 pm CST by Razore »

xRazorex: Yo
BlAcKIcE398: wtf u got me killed newb
BlAcKIcE398: block
BlAcKIcE398 signed off at 3:49:05 PM.

Lidge Farkley

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« Reply #1 on: July 14, 2004 10:50 pm CDT »
Quote
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the
autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
somewhere.


Reminds me of the defense on the week I went on the Jury this year... gahhhhh!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969 06:00 pm CST by Lidge Farkley »
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Kendril

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« Reply #2 on: July 15, 2004 10:12 am CDT »
Thats funny stuff!!!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969 06:00 pm CST by Kendril »

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KoRo

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« Reply #3 on: July 16, 2004 06:58 am CDT »
lololololololololololololololol
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969 06:00 pm CST by KoRo »

Ziros Suntol

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« Reply #4 on: July 16, 2004 07:00 am CDT »
dude, go to bed... i got to go to work, It's 8 am man!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969 06:00 pm CST by Ziros Suntol »

Hollywood

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« Reply #5 on: July 16, 2004 10:49 pm CDT »
I can honestly say those were all pretty funny, which is rare. Nice.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969 06:00 pm CST by Hollywood »