Looking back on past events I can see a part of what caused them.
(of course, i dont mean the eViL/EVIL name mixup, that part was obvious to everyone)
Reading through the threads of today and a few months back, I see something that could have caused the problems.
Most of us are not able to code or map or any number of other things that contribute to the community. Of course, we are ALL able to come up with storyline ideas and ideas for things to add in/change, but those are harder to implement as everyone has a different perspective of what the "world" is like or should be. This puts the "power" in the hands of those who are able to realize thier "dreams" such as the coders and all.
Since this is a computer community, those with computer skills are the most powerfull. (which is why I am a total nothing here, I have no computer skills:))
With the power that comes from knowing computers and how to operatre them comes asense of supiorirty (yes, I know I misspelled it). This sense is rightfully earned as the skills are hard to master for most people and totally beyond the grasp of others (such as myself).
Those of us who are the "underdogs" in this way, often feel like they are lesser than those who hold sway and it is easy (if you spend a lot of time on-line) to allow it to affect your sense of self worth in a negative manner since youappear to be a "lesser person".
Sadly, the reverse holds true for those who are on the other end of the spectrum and these often encourage this line of reasoning in order to keep themselves "feeling good".
Now, one or the other of these are not too awfull bad, but when you have both types in a community, there can be trouble.
Now, after looking back with a clearer vision, I am able to see this more clearly and see my own actions and the way that I added to the troubles.
Having taken the time to sit back and study all of the events, I see my misstakes and have made efforts to keep from making them again. I would like to apologize to everyone involved and those who were on the periphery who were adversly affected. I was wrong in my actions as well as the others who I accused. I cannot speak for them, but I am sorry for the events and would like a chance to be allowed into the community once more. I will not speak of the other things that caused my actions that a few of you know about.
mostly, I would like to apologize to particle since it was his server and pecker since she tried to help (although I couldnt see it at the time).
To help with this in case any of you find yourself falling into the same trap, I want you to consider that computers are only one aspect of life. If you start to feel inferior because you are powerless here, think of your other strengths. Math skills, history knowledge, physical attributes, the list goes on and on so I am SURE that there are aspects of life in which YOU would be supirior to those who are so far above you here. Likewise, before you start to gloat over your abilities, just remember that those you are putting down are real people who have skills that surpass yours in areas as well.
ok, I'm finished ranting now.
