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xkenshinx

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My suicide note
« on: December 7, 2003 02:31 pm CST »
Dear Ungrateful World;


Although everyone on Earth has failed to give me even half the accolades and adulation that should go with me, Eric Coxx, being the 3rd coming of christ, I will still fulfill my destiny. For you insolent pukes, I will shed my blood to once again open the gates of heaven.

Start erecting statues, singing songs, scoring touchdowns and doing other malarkey for my glory, because you forkers owe me big,



Jesus Christ III
a.k.a. Eric Coxx


P.S. Tell everyone I'm not psychotic.

create yours at.... http://www.porkjerky.com/suicide.htm
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969 06:00 pm CST by xkenshinx »
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"First comes smiles, then lies. Last is gunfire." �Roland Deschain, of Gilead

Darwin

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« Reply #1 on: December 7, 2003 02:40 pm CST »
Dear World;


I wish everyone could know the pain I live with every day of my miserable life. Alas no. Statistics tells me only 1 in every 30,000 adult males has a penis less than 4 inches long and 2 inches around. Only they, my wee wienied brethren can even begin to understand the hurt I feel when I step up to a urinal and my stream of urine is only slightly smaller than the 3.28 inch long, 1.67 inch wide wanker that it springs from.

I have tried pumps, creams, exercises, and god forbid; even praying. Nothing works, not even marginally on my miniscule member. So, everyday I try to lie to the world about possessing a petite pecker by peeling out in my Corvette, strutting around in expensive suits, talking about my mansion, dating strippers to show the world my virility and constantly crowing about my colossal crotch. But my Armani suits are just expensive costumes to hide my teeny-tiny tallywacker. My gigantic house is where I sit alone with my dwarf johnson. And the truth is the only thing I can stretch when it comes to my freakishly feeble frankfurter. Day in and day out I used to ask myself, "Celtic what would jesus do with a small penis"? After hours of reading the bible, searching my soul and peering at my puny prick, I know now that there is no jesus.

-Celtic


P.S. All those gay pornos aren't mine. They're a friend's. And I was superimposed.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969 06:00 pm CST by Darwin »
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Whitby

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« Reply #2 on: December 7, 2003 05:29 pm CST »
Most people kill themselves because of a mental condition. This is true in my case too. The condition I suffer from is that I am not normal, I am not like every "sane" person in the world.

I am not normal in the sense that I am not like every other one of you brain-dead zombies. I can think. I can reason intelligently. I can observe and learn from life. I can make my own decisions and follow through on them. And I can do these without any aid from celebrities, T.V. or radio. Unfortunately, every one of you malarkey-brained lemmings in the world seem to lack these skills and I can't forking take it any more.

Since everyone else in this world is a forking retarded drone who revels in their ignorance and unintelligence, I must put an end to my misery. I truly wish I was normal. I wish I could be a forking retarded drone whore like all of you. I wish I could have the same conversations day in and day out about sports, politics, or "how about that weather, huh?" But I cant. Sure you'll see this note and say Darwin's the crazy one. You have to it's the only way you can go on thinking you're sane and your pathetic life is meaningful. Go ahead, call me the weirdo like everyone else surely will. Then return to your happiness of everyday mindless monotony.

My only wish is that the bullet I put into my brain doesn't kill me but only leaves me brain dead. For if ignorance is bliss and everyone of you fork-for-brains is truly happy, then living a life without a brain stem in a coma must surely be utopia.


Leave my machine plugged in you forking retards,




Darwin


P.S. All those gay pornos aren't mine. They're a friend's. And I was superimposed.

*************************************************************************


See i can do it too! :P
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969 06:00 pm CST by Whitby »
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MICHAEL JACKSON DID NOT MOLEST THOSE CHILDREN--HE MADE LOVE TO THEM

Darwin

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« Reply #3 on: December 7, 2003 05:49 pm CST »
Yeah, but mine pwns yours.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969 06:00 pm CST by Darwin »
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Whitby

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« Reply #4 on: December 7, 2003 05:50 pm CST »
goog for yours....click my sig unsavory woman!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969 06:00 pm CST by Whitby »
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MICHAEL JACKSON DID NOT MOLEST THOSE CHILDREN--HE MADE LOVE TO THEM

Paradox666

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« Reply #5 on: December 8, 2003 08:52 am CST »
Look here its as simple as this. For the ones I love, I love you. For the ones i hate i probally already killed you.  
Oh and tell everyone on Tribes and AIM that I'll miss em.


 Fu ck you all.

Bye  :twisted:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969 06:00 pm CST by Paradox666 »
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Whitby

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« Reply #6 on: December 8, 2003 03:05 pm CST »
such hate...but good 0wn|ng
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969 06:00 pm CST by Whitby »
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MICHAEL JACKSON DID NOT MOLEST THOSE CHILDREN--HE MADE LOVE TO THEM

Paradox666

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« Reply #7 on: December 8, 2003 03:05 pm CST »
lol thats just the way i ball
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969 06:00 pm CST by Paradox666 »
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Whitby

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« Reply #8 on: December 8, 2003 03:06 pm CST »
i'd rather anoy the fork out of people i dont like,  i have my ways ;)
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969 06:00 pm CST by Whitby »
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MICHAEL JACKSON DID NOT MOLEST THOSE CHILDREN--HE MADE LOVE TO THEM

Paradox666

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« Reply #9 on: December 8, 2003 03:07 pm CST »
Lol if i owuld to ommit suicide ill bnlam it on certain person thatd be forked up
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969 06:00 pm CST by Paradox666 »
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Whitby

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« Reply #10 on: December 8, 2003 03:14 pm CST »
Quote from: "Paradox666"
Lol if i owuld to ommit suicide ill bnlam it on certain person thatd be fragglewert up


Read over this, tell me what is wrong with it! Take your time lol
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969 06:00 pm CST by Whitby »
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MICHAEL JACKSON DID NOT MOLEST THOSE CHILDREN--HE MADE LOVE TO THEM

Paradox666

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« Reply #11 on: December 8, 2003 03:18 pm CST »
Quote from: "Whitby"
Quote from: "Paradox666"
Lol if i owuld to ommit suicide ill bnlam it on certain person thatd be fragglewert up

Read over this, tell me what is wrong with it! Take your time lol


my keyboards forked dude u didnt now?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969 06:00 pm CST by Paradox666 »
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Paradox666

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« Reply #12 on: December 8, 2003 03:20 pm CST »
Listen Up Dumbforks:


Most people kill themselves because of a mental condition. This is true in my case too. The condition I suffer from is that I am not normal, I am not like every "sane" person in the world.

I am not normal in the sense that I am not like every other one of you brain-dead zombies. I can think. I can reason intelligently. I can observe and learn from life. I can make my own decisions and follow through on them. And I can do these without any aid from celebrities, T.V. or radio. Unfortunately, every one of you malarkey-brained lemmings in the world seem to lack these skills and I can't forking take it any more.

Since everyone else in this world is a forking retarded drone who revels in their ignorance and unintelligence, I must put an end to my misery. I truly wish I was normal. I wish I could be a forking retarded drone whore like all of you. I wish I could have the same conversations day in and day out about sports, politics, or "how about that weather, huh?" But I cant. Sure you'll see this note and say 's the crazy one. You have to it's the only way you can go on thinking you're sane and your pathetic life is meaningful. Go ahead, call me the weirdo like everyone else surely will. Then return to your happiness of everyday mindless monotony.

My only wish is that the bullet I put into my brain doesn't kill me but only leaves me brain dead. For if ignorance is bliss and everyone of you fork-for-brains is truly happy, then living a life without a brain stem in a coma must surely be utopia.


Leave my machine plugged in you forking retards,







P.S. I hope all that jesus and god and heaven bullmalarkey is real.



thats my real one
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969 06:00 pm CST by Paradox666 »
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