Dumb Stories Thread

[Darwin]

I thought up a fun idea for a thread.  We all have stories of us being dumb.  We all just goof up, and end up in strange ways.  So, lets post some stories of us being dumbasses.

I'll start us off.

I was hanging at a friend's house not too long ago.  While watching my friend play Battlefield: Vietnam, I found a pack of 9 volt batteries.  We started touching them to the tip of our tongues to see how much we could stand.  Then, I decided to touch the battery to my braces, then close them around it.
Can you say Superconductor?

My vision turned BLUE while a popping pain went on inside my mouth.  I jerked upright and threw the battery across the room.

[Silvanoshei]

How about today?

I went camping on an island with a bunch of friends last night, and at about 9:00AM we're all packed up and ready to leave. (Obviously there's a plethora of stories prior to this, but none of me being dumb.  

[Darwin]

I've got another electic story.  I was installing a DSL modem on one of my computers.  Since I was messing with so many wires, I decided to put the power cord in my mouth while plugging in the ethernet jacks.  

It was plugged into the wall.

Bzzat!

[KoRo]

Heres a good stupid story.

i was born.

[Lidge Farkley]

Heres a good stupid story.

i was born.

So... you cannot talk?


I personally have not had a story that struck me dumb yet.

I'll let you know if it happens though :-)

[Taurik]

It was dark and raining. I was in a left turn lane with a few other people, and after we got the green and started accelerating, the guy ahead of me suddenly stopped. I was a n00b and wasn't paying attention, so I rear ended him. That's dumb, right? But when I got out of the car to inspect the damage, I realized he didn't even have a licence plate on his K-car wagon, and probably didn't have insurance either. He kept insisting that it must have "flew off," but it was gone. Heh. It was one of those "I won't tell if you don't" things, and we both drove off. I'm glad my only accident in 5 years doesn't count

[Particle]

I was programming a search for a business program one time and there was a problem with my code.  For some reason, it wouldn't search right if no search fields were entered.  I worked on this thing exhaustively for about two weeks before I realized, "Oh wait, that's working right."  There wasn't anything wrong with it to begin with, but I spent two weeks trying to fix it.

[Newbie]

Rofl, love the story Silv, please continue.  

The officer was really cool about it though.. he was laughing at the fact that I had only had my license for 48 hours and that I was on the busiest street in the city, at the busiest time of the day.  

[Taurik]

Heh. That sucks..  

[WolfTones]

When i worked for the computer store, me and my friend Mark had to go out and install a system in somones home, so we go and do it. The thing was we had to use a curtisy car from the garage because the "computer world" van was crashed (by Mark). This car was YELLOW, had no breaks, even the handbreak didn't work good. So i was like " can i drive on the way home" And at 1st he said "aww no man, if something happend i'd be in malarkey" To which i reply "NOTHING WILL HAPPEN"..bad thing to say.

So about 5 miles down the road he said "Ok i'll let you drive, but in this place were we both know" I was like GREAT!

so we get to the place anyway and he got out of the car and i jumped into the driver seat and he got into the passionger seat, i looked at him and told him to put his seat belt on. He was like"wtf will i need a seatbelt". I was Trust me! lol

So i take off with the wheels spining, going round a few corners, building up speed, and i got to abot 50 mph and he told me to slow down, I laughed, around another corner a car came and everything was good going past it, so the last corner was comming up and i was doing 65mph and the road was a little damp, I didn't expect a car to come but of corse one did anyway, i was over his side of the road and pankied and got on my own side, then i felt the back wheels of this car comming out from the right, Mark is like shouting my name and the car is completely sideways doing 60 mph doing this little country road, then we hit the grass and it pulled us in, i thought we were going to role this little bastard over, but lucky for me we didn't.

So we spent about 10 minutes trying to pull this car out of the grass but it wouldn't come out, lucky mark lived about 2 minutes away and he drove a BMW with traction control so he pulled it out.

We had to take the car to our other friends house because he had a power hose. We were all frozen because it was the end of november in ireland, but we cleaned it up and hoped the boss didn't see anything, the funny part is the boss came in the next day laughing his ass off, i said whats so funny? and he told me that he hit ice on the road and he put the car up on a bank of a field, there was LOTS of crap under the car now lol.

Before the crash we called the car the "Banana boat" but i named it "the Banana split"


Sorry for making such a long post. But it was a funny week or so!

[Darwin]

When driving to our family's cabin, it was a very snowy day (for the area), so we were going slow.  For some reason, my grandfather (who was driving ahead of me in his Suburban) would not let me use 4-Wheel drive (I really wonder why) on that day.  We get going slowly, I with my sister in the passenger seat of my truck.  We are going along fine until my grandfather decides to speed up.  I speed up too, and the truck shifts gears.  This change causes my truck to immediately lose tracktion, I lose control and fly across 4 lanes of traffic and crash into a ditch.

My sister was so out of it.  We sat there for a minute, the truck was nearly flipped on its side, but clung to the hill.  She goes "Did that just happen?"  We had to climb out of the truck and stand in the snow waiting for my grandparents.  I threw a snowball at my sister.

Older GMC trucks are tough.  There wasnt a scratch on it except a little bending in the front manifold, which we were able to bend back.

[WolfTones]

would not let me use 4-Wheel drive (I really wonder why) on that day.

Perhaps he didn't want to give you fake confidence, When i attented rally school in ireland they gave us MK 1 and 2 ford Excorts to drive at first because they are back wheel drive and they give you the skills you need for extreem driving.  I was pissed because i wanted to drive the 330bhp Subaru Imprezas'!!  But we finally got to do that I was in heaven!!!

[Newbie]

What kind of fuel did the car have Wolf, potatoe nitrous?  

[Aeolian]

Lol, yeah, if so whats the top speed of those badass potato powered engines? I think potato nitrous is the good stuff right? meaning.. the equvilent to NOS? Im not a potato expert though, I leave that stuff to those crazy Irish.

[Trien]

One time this year near the middle of Feb., i was delievering some flowers to a friend of mine for a lil late valentines gift. Im going down her road doing 37 in a 30 MPH. Its icey and stuff cause you know its Feb. . Anyways im going up this hill knowing i gotta go down it on the other side, but i speed up because its a backroad and no one comes on it that much. WRONG. A car is coming up, im like "ohhh malarkey" i tried to slow down but the damn ice says "no" and then before i know its im coming at this person doing 40 and im like SHOOOOOOOT. 3 seconds later BAM, ruined my driver side headlight, blinker and fender. Nothing bad happened to the people in the other car or me, execpt that we couldnt get out of our driver side doors. Well now my driver side door is fixed but not my fender. Thx God for seatbelts. The damage on the other person car is just the door is dented in, thats it.