You might as well close this topic, because it's nearly impossible for a serious topic to stay serious here.
If you feel like killing yourself, you need to go talk to your parents. or a psychiatrist.. you SHOULDN'T be talking to a bunch of kids who don't know anything more than you do about how you "should" feel. If you are feeling depressed, and you don't put your balls to the wall and talk to your parents about it, you deserve to stay the way you are. You control your life, and no one else.. don't let it waste away because you were too embarassed to let people see who you are.