The Endless Thread of Funny Pictures and Crap

[RedneckNoob]

Look at the patches on his arm.

[RedneckNoob]

HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work  boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans,
a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went to the gun shop for more  ammunition.
Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed
him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood.

PS - I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.

A LOGICAL SOLUTION.
Now here is a problem that finally has a formula for getting to the bottom of an age old problem.
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say
they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give
over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you
close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullmalarkey and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.

[Xenos]

I find your ideas intriguing, and would like to subscribe to your newletter.

[RedneckNoob]

Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
>
>1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With
>Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing
>Cars. See If They Slow Down.
>
>2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise
>Your Voice.
>
>3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask
>If They Want Fries with that.
>
>4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It
>"In."
>
>5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once
>Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions,
>Switch to Espresso.
>
>6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write " For
>Smuggling Diamonds"
>
>7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance
>With The Prophecy."
>
>8. Don't use any punctuation
>
>9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
>
>10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat,
>with a serious face.
>
>11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To
>Go."
>
>12. Sing Along At The Opera.
>
>13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems
>Don't Rhyme?
>
>14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And
>Play tropical Sounds All Day.
>
>15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You
>Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The
>Mood.
>
>16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your
>Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
>
>17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I
>Won!, I Won!"
>
>18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The
>Parking lot, Yelling
>"Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
>
>19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The
>Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

[Vorter_X_]

[/img]

[Corona]

i don't usually post in threads like this, but:



and others: http://stephenharper.org/pics/

and especially this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IfKRX7CqUY

*edit* apparently i do post in threads like this, then forget about it until months later. so here's another one, for KoRo:

[Vorter_X_]

Yeah Dario!

[Particle]

You've seen that Dario video?  

[Vorter_X_]

Hell yeah dude. I love Denmark.

[KoRo]

*edit* apparently i do post in threads like this, then forget about it until months later. so here's another one, for KoRo:

Seen it many times But its the thought that counts!

Corona, is that Hitler eating a Watermelon?

[Corona]

hehe koro... oh...

does it look like hitler eating a watermelon?

[KoRo]

hehe koro... oh...

does it look like hitler eating a watermelon?

I dont know. It looked like many things before the watermelon-eating thign was the most convincing.

[RedneckNoob]

I just found this one too funny not to share.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,
>doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
>
>Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they
>were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into
>the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
>
>Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and
>pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic
>act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she
>now considered her to be mentally stable.
>
>When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good
>news and bad news. *The good news is you're being discharged, since you
>were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the
>life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound
>mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph, hung himself in the bathroom with his
>bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
>
>Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How
>soon can I go home?"

Who doesn't love cats?

[Xenos]

I had a lol at the one below

[KoRo]

I dont like that last one